Apocalypse Now or Never?

The End is Nigh! Or so we've been told for millennia. Of course, it hasn't happened yet so that makes a mockery of the word "nigh". Nigh, it seems, isn't so nigh. Or perhaps the real mockery should be at the expense of those who expected "the end" to come sooner. Many religions feature doomsday prophesies - some even with specific dates (with the Seventh day Adventists being particularly hilarious). None, obviously, has been correct thus far. Yet, in spite a rash of failed prophesies, humanity still anticipates some kind of "big finish" to our time on earth. What is it about the human condition that makes us contemplate our collective demise?

And it isn't just the crackpot religious people. You just have to turn on the TV to see how fixated everyone seems to be with all this. From Survivors, a drama set in a post-apocalyptic UK, to Dead Set, a zombie series set on the set for Big Brother, the telly keeps telling us that something truly awful is just around the corner.

Beyond the realms of a faith-driven Armageddon and science fiction, it seems that the natural world is conspiring against us too. If you've been watching the documentary Catastrophe on the origins of life on Earth, you'll know that a sudden disaster isn't all that unlikely a proposition. Nor is a slow, painful one either.

Of course, the difference between religious and non-religious people is that one group genuinely believes that this would be The End of The World.

Here's a short Irish comedy on the same theme.

The Un-bear-able Lightness of Being

That's Debby. She's a Polar Bear. And after the one in The Golden Compass or the one on top of a Fox's Glacier Mint, she is one of the most famous Polar Bears in the world. Debby is famous because she is considered to be the oldest Polar Bear in the world. I say "considered" because we can't know if that's true*. We haven't met all of them. And they don't register their births. But we do know that she is the oldest Polar Bear in captivity. At least she was until she died this week.

Debby had a degrading kidney condition (Don't we all?) and was a "guest" at the Assiniboine Zoo in Winnipeg, Canada for many years. She was forty-one years old when they "euthanized" her. I'm hoping that was a lot longer in Polar Bear years. Not just for personal (age-related) reasons. You see, I've actually met Debby.

I lived in Winnipeg for a couple of years in the early Nineties and during my stay there I paid a visit to their rather large zoo. I was visiting because Ling Ling and Wong Wong** the Chinese Pandas were on a state visit but I did make it over to see the Polar Bears. And unlike our pee-stained yellow Polar Bears, the Canadian ones are actually white**. This is possibly because they are from up the road (and not from the Phoenix Park).

Either way, I hope you had a happy life Debby. You were way more interesting than the Pandas. And you'll make a nicer rug.


*And only religious people are that certain of anything.
**not actual names or colours.

Declan Buckley, Mossad and God are now friends

Oy! Oy! Oy! One of the things that annoys me about religion is the concept of "religious moderates". They're the people who believe (*ahem) that it is entirely feasible to believe in only parts of their faith. (I'm assuming they are those parts that they think make sense or suit their cause).

We all know the type; they don't go to church at the weekends (or ever!) yet they still want the white wedding. Or there's the person who thinks gays should be discriminated against because of something in Leviticus (all the while ignoring the same warnings about shrimp, haircuts and sharing the company of menstruating women - who wrote that shit?!).

It all demonstrates a very shaky belief in any kind of God - particularly the very vengeful God from The Bible, Talmud or Koran. If you genuinely think the God person is real, surely you won't wanna piss her off by being a crap servant, eh?

Recently, I was most disturbed to hear that a good friend of mine regularly prays "when he needs something" (despite not really believing and the absolute lack of any response to previous prayers). It reminded me of that exam I failed as a kid because I spent the time praying I'd pass rather than actually studying!

The reality is that religion serves people well when they want to be selfish. Or impose their political views on others. Or if they are scared (of death, foreigners, women or their desire to sleep with their soccer-coach).

As a wish-granting factory, religion is way down on the list behind Jim'll Fix It or The National Lottery. As a god, God sucks. Either that or he's on lunch for the last 2000 years.

In my opinion, Technology is the new god. It's far more omni-present. When it works, it works in mysterious ways... And it's certainly all-seeing and all knowing.

Take the tale of the Israeli girl who got out of Military service "on religious grounds". The Secret Service snooped around her facebook profile and found that she had been partying on the Sabbath and generally sinning. Bad girl! (More to the point; is anyone else slightly turned on by the fact that hot Mossad operatives could be scoping about our facebook profiles?)

Poor girl has now been forced to sign up for her full military service. I wonder whether she blames an angry, jealous God... or her stupid privacy settings on facebook?

The Danger of Sarah Palin

Sam Harris (author of Letter to A Christian Nation and The End of Faith) has an interesting article in Newsweek about the danger of Sarah Palin. While it bugs me that Newsweek position it as an atheist argument*, it's a good, if not terrifying, read. My favourite part is how Harris mocks Palin's claim that she is "ready to take command" simply because she would not hesitate to do so. While Americans lapped up Palin's "when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink" line, Harris proves how stupid it is by changing the context.

"Governor Palin, are you ready at this moment to perform surgery on this child's brain?"
"Of course. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."
"But governor, this is neurosurgery, and you have no training as a surgeon of any kind."
"That's just the point. The American people want change in how we make medical decisions in this country. And when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink.

Well, in that case, Sarah, scalpel away!

(*you don't need to be an atheist to be scared of religious extremism)

Feel the fear and do it anyway

I remember as a school kid, studying a poem called Death Be Not Proud. It had a strong impact on me. Mainly because my grand mother had recently died and I had never faced the mortality of those I loved before. It was the only poem I actually "learned" for class: we were meant to learn them all! I still remember most of it.

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for,
thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow, Die not, poor death,
nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure, then from
thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and souls delivery.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with
poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better then thy stroke; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleep past, wee wake eternally, And death shall be no more;
death, thou shalt die.

John Donne's poem talks about death's power over us being a fallacy. We can "overcome" death. Of course, what he really means it that once we die we go to Heaven and death "thou shalt die". It's a very religious way of looking at things.

Over the years, I have learned more about death and I've learned more about life. I've learned that we most definitely cannot overcome death. But most of all, I've learned that aspiring to reach heaven values death over life. It devalues our short and mysterious existence in favour of "life everlasting".

As an atheist, the most difficult concept to broach is that when we die, that's it! Within the context of the several billion year old Universe, our short visit is frightening. It is this fear that religions feed upon. Or rather, it is the smug notion that we can somehow cheat death that drives religion.

On that point, I can never understand how Christians position themselves as pro-life when, by their very faith, they are pro-death. As indeed is Islam (hence the endless procession of Islamic fundamentalists willing to die for their place in this so-called heaven). Both religions await the coming of the end of the world and the rewards that will come to the faithful. Getting there quicker is almost a good thing!

We all face the fear of death but why this fear has to be channelled in to "cults of death" is beyond me. Maybe we should face the fear, rather than pretend it doesn't exist. Admit there is a problem, as a therapist might say. And then we can get on with living. (As Phillip Larkin said, "Death is no different whined at than withstood".)

Maybe it's time we realised that we are powerless to do something about death. And that this somehow makes life even more precious. And life thou shalt live! It might actually make life better (than the Bible, Koran or Talmud ever did).

This is a special way of being afraid. No trick dispels.
Religion used to try, That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

What's not Traditional About Same Sex Weddings?

When Christians rant on about "traditional marriage", the tradition to which they refer isn't all that old (if you exclude the fact that some of them believe the Universe is only 10 thousand years old!). But when they imply that same sex unions are a 21st century phenomenon, they're on very dodgy ground.

Here's the science part:

Prof. John Boswell, the late Chairman of Yale University’s history department, discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient Christian church liturgical documents, there were also ceremonies called the
“Office of Same-Sex Union” (10th and 11th century), and the “Order for Uniting Two Men” (11th and 12th century). These church rites had all the symbols of a heterosexual marriage: the whole community gathered in a church, a blessing of the couple before the altar was conducted with their right hands joined, holy vows were exchanged, a priest officiatied in the taking of the Eucharist and a wedding feast for the guests was celebrated afterwards. These elements all appear in contemporary illustrations of the holy union of the Byzantine Warrior-Emperor, Basil the First (867-886 CE)and his companion John. Such same gender Christian sanctified unions also
took place in Ireland in the late 12thand/ early 13th century, as the chronicler Gerald of Wales (‘Geraldus Cambrensis’) recorded.

Sounds like gay marriage is pretty traditional to me.

It's Science, for God's Sake!

I watched Richard Dawkins' documentary about Charles Darwinon Channel 4 tonight. And even though Dawkins comes across as a smug English dandy, the man does put those religious nutjobs in their place! He comes across as exasperated but always logical. He also seems obsessed with Darwin. I've never read Darwin's books but I've read several of Dawkins' books and The Guardian did a really beautiful supplement on Evolution recently which summarised it very succinctly. While I am no biologist, the simple elegance of the Theory of Evolution through Natural Selection (not to mention the body of evidence to support it) makes it impossible for a sane person to dismiss it.

Despite this, insane Christians (excuse the tautology) do dismiss the theory - especially in the United States. Of course, they have to... Modern science is simply incompatible with their literal view of religion. I pity them. It's like a twenty year old still believing in the tooth fairy. Unbelieveable!

I also cannot understand so-called "moderate" Christians who acknowledge that the Creation element of their religion (chaper one of their big book) is entirely fabricated but still somehow believe there's truth in the rest of it. If The Bible was a witness in a court case, the jury would be advised its testimony was unreliable. If it wasn't so scary, it would be hilarious!

Sam Harris, author of Letter to a Christian Nation, is looking into the whole psychology of faith on his site The Reason Project. It intrigues me that so called devout Christians can make death threats in the name of their moral God while Muslims act horrified when the bloodlust of their religion is highlighted. What part of their faith disconnects them from the reality of the world about them?

I'm really starting to think that religion is a mental illness.

Holy God-botherer, Batman!

I finally got a chance to see The Dark Knight last night. And while I enjoyed the movie, I am not at all convinced by speculation that Heath Ledger deserves an Oscar for his role as The Joker. Don't get me wrong... he was great an' all. It's just that I hate the sentimentality surrounding the whole thing. He either does a better acting role than the other contenders or he doesn't. Just because he gone and killed himself shouldn't make him a shoo in come award season.

I do think The Dark Knight is the best Batman movie in the franchise so far (although, I'm not sure I saw the last one!). Christian Bale gets a bad rap but I quite liked him (especially with his shirt off!). I don't get Maggie Gyllenhal at all. Come back Katie Cruise. All is forgiven!

While it would be too easy to see the parallels between the fight against Gotham crime and the US War against Terror, I prefered to see it as a fight against illogical minds and haters. Batman might be the caped crusader but I definitely saw more religious zealotry in The Joker. He subscribes to an external force ("chaos") and is dogmatic about his ideals.

As Alfred the butler says, "Some men aren't looking for anything logical... They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."

These people are so happy to die for their ideas. The only way to really kill them is to prove their ideology wrong!