Dive Bomb

I'm not a very sensible boy. It took ten years of thinking about getting a pension before I started one. And since I started it, I haven't thought about it that much. (Although I am pretty sure it's worth less now than it was a year ago. Damn recession!)

What winds me up about the pension scam* is the way pension-providers use more fear-based advertising than the average Republican election campaign. One ad that really bugs me is the one where the female diver is preparing to dive into an empty swimming pool. Filmed in moody black & white, the girl is clearly in (metaphoric) danger until the pool fills up (thanks to an Irish Life pension) and she can land the finish (or whatever you do in a dive)*.

In the current economic climate, I think a remake of the ad is on the cards. Actually, I'll do it myself. I'll need a diver with a death-wish or any of our legion of drugged up competitive swimmers. I think I'll film it in glorious technicolor. The swimmer will mount the ladder (or whatever you do with a ladder) and begin her dive into a water-filled pool. Sadly (due to global warming and sub-prime mortgages) the pool will no longer have any water in it when she lands. The End.

*What you put in may not bear any resemblance to what you get out (unless you understand fractions). Terms and Conditions Apply. Divers may or may not be harmed depending on the levels of drugs in their system. Water is not guaranteed to be pure H2O.